








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1051 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1004 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1909 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1039 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,957,034 of utility $313 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xMello | 55% | 173 |
| #2 | Wqlly | 55% | 77 |
| #3 | sLeep | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xMello | 55% | 173 |
| #2 | Wqlly | 55% | 77 |
| #3 | sLeep | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xMello | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Wqlly | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | sLeep | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xMello | 315 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | sLeep | 284 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | Wqlly | 184 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xMello | +1.53 | 73 | 53 |
| #2 | Wqlly | +0.43 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | Reborn | +0.17 | 74 | 39 |
| #4 | sLeep | +0.14 | 56 | 64 |





