








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 419 matches | ||
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1808 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1991 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5001 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 3805 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,956,161 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xMello | 63% | 63 |
| #2 | pineapple | 60% | 138 |
| #3 | Wqlly | 55% | 185 |
| #4 | therk | 49% | 85 |
| #5 | sLeep | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | pineapple | 60% | 138 |
| #3 | Wqlly | 55% | 185 |
| #4 | therk | 49% | 85 |
| #5 | sLeep | 46% | 41 |
| #6 | cren | 37% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wqlly | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | pineapple | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | sLeep | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | xMello | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | therk | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wqlly | 419 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | pineapple | 335 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | sLeep | 204 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | xMello | 132 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | therk | 113 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | therk | +1.87 | 91 | 45 |
| #2 | cren | +1.63 | 83 | 54 |
| #3 | xMello | +1.31 | 75 | 51 |
| #4 | pineapple | +1.21 | 83 | 57 |
| #5 | iCOPE | -0.04 | 67 | 45 |





