








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 907 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2173 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 433 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1626 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,047,380 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mercurialists | 49% | 51 |
| #2 | Chef Ramsay | 49% | 74 |
| #3 | <blank> | 44% | 144 |
| #4 | SourCreamOnion | 44% | 115 |
| #5 | kingdomzerogods | 41% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SourCreamOnion | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | <blank> | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Chef Ramsay | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | kingdomzerogods | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Mercurialists | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mercurialists | +2.22 | 83 | 28 |
| #2 | kingdomzerogods | +0.88 | 76 | 32 |
| #3 | Chef Ramsay | +0.27 | 61 | 52 |
| #4 | <blank> | +0.07 | 70 | 47 |
| #5 | FreezeBite | -0.07 | 52 | 47 |





