








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1053 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1041 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 589 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1071 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $873,848 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef Ramsay | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | Mercurialists | 50% | 46 |
| #3 | kingdomzerogods | 49% | 112 |
| #4 | <blank> | 48% | 131 |
| #5 | FreezeBite | 44% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FreezeBite | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Chef Ramsay | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | <blank> | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Mercurialists | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | kingdomzerogods | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mercurialists | +2.56 | 86 | 19 |
| #2 | Chef Ramsay | +0.91 | 58 | 53 |
| #3 | kingdomzerogods | +0.68 | 73 | 32 |
| #4 | <blank> | +0.31 | 68 | 45 |
| #5 | FreezeBite | +0.26 | 48 | 47 |





