








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




158 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4050 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1844 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1316 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1290 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1108 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,376,927 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 773 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | humbug | 49% | 131 |
| #2 | roland | 47% | 30 |
| #3 | aeio | 47% | 58 |
| #4 | menk | 44% | 256 |
| #5 | dr kill | 42% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | roland | 47% | 30 |
| #3 | aeio | 47% | 58 |
| #4 | menk | 44% | 256 |
| #5 | dr kill | 42% | 139 |
| #6 | burzcum | 39% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | burzcum | 80 | 0.0256 |
| #2 | menk | 63 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | humbug | 19 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | dr kill | 18 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | aeio | 18 | 0.0156 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | menk | 594 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | humbug | 234 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | burzcum | 213 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | dr kill | 169 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | aeio | 101 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr kill | +1.87 | 43 | 43 |
| #2 | humbug | +1.86 | 67 | 37 |
| #3 | aeio | +1.21 | 66 | 44 |
| #4 | roland | +1.21 | 77 | 58 |
| #5 | woop | +0.44 | 42 | 36 |





