








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1503 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1178 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 871 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 57 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,830 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr kill | 51% | 122 |
| #2 | woop | 49% | 131 |
| #3 | aeio | 45% | 69 |
| #4 | menk | 44% | 162 |
| #5 | burzcum | 42% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr kill | 51% | 122 |
| #2 | woop | 49% | 131 |
| #3 | aeio | 45% | 69 |
| #4 | menk | 44% | 162 |
| #5 | burzcum | 42% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woop | 51 | 0.0197 |
| #2 | burzcum | 48 | 0.0219 |
| #3 | menk | 45 | 0.0138 |
| #4 | aeio | 20 | 0.0145 |
| #5 | dr kill | 15 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | menk | 419 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | woop | 224 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | burzcum | 153 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | dr kill | 148 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | aeio | 124 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aeio | +1.74 | 71 | 40 |
| #2 | dr kill | +1.49 | 49 | 43 |
| #3 | humbug | +1.49 | 68 | 39 |
| #4 | woop | +0.16 | 43 | 37 |
| #5 | menk | -0.89 | 72 | 48 |





