








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1495 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2965 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 1022 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1076 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,301 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aeio | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | roland | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | humbug | 51% | 122 |
| #4 | menk | 44% | 167 |
| #5 | burzcum | 43% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | burzcum | 54 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | woop | 53 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | menk | 43 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | humbug | 16 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | aeio | 7 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | menk | 371 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | humbug | 222 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | woop | 203 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | burzcum | 178 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | aeio | 90 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aeio | +2.40 | 73 | 39 |
| #2 | humbug | +2.03 | 70 | 39 |
| #3 | dr kill | +1.69 | 44 | 45 |
| #4 | woop | +0.30 | 42 | 37 |
| #5 | roland | -0.01 | 76 | 60 |





