








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 638 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,804 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 817 | 29% |
| Smokes | 755 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 550 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 682 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $858,065 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 418 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •BeamMy• | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | Kjaerbye | 78% | 23 |
| #3 | ʜ ᴀ ᴅ ᴇ ꜱ | 74% | 53 |
| #4 | CWabbit | 65% | 91 |
| #5 | // m4rk | 58% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ysh | 6 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | CWabbit | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | // m4rk | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ʜ ᴀ ᴅ ᴇ ꜱ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | •BeamMy• | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CWabbit | 222 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | ʜ ᴀ ᴅ ᴇ ꜱ | 189 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | // m4rk | 79 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kjaerbye | 78 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ysh | 77 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CWabbit | +5.04 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | Kjaerbye | +3.83 | 74 | 72 |
| #3 | Xander | +3.68 | 86 | 45 |
| #4 | Ysh | +3.10 | 66 | 50 |
| #5 | •BeamMy• | +2.13 | 79 | 62 |





