








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 108 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2096 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1744 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 835 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2060 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $916,434 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rAijiNfly | 56% | 94 |
| #2 | Ramo$ | 50% | 249 |
| #3 | ovasco- | 50% | 185 |
| #4 | Shade | 50% | 165 |
| #5 | Jeremiah | 49% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rAijiNfly | 56% | 94 |
| #2 | Ramo$ | 50% | 249 |
| #3 | ovasco- | 50% | 185 |
| #4 | Shade | 50% | 165 |
| #5 | Jeremiah | 49% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ovasco- | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | rAijiNfly | 11 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Ramo$ | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Jeremiah | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Shade | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ramo$ | 717 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | rAijiNfly | 633 | 0.32 | 15 min |
| #3 | Jeremiah | 358 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | ovasco- | 292 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Shade | 219 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sbt- | +1.73 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | Jeremiah | +0.92 | 55 | 52 |
| #3 | rAijiNfly | +0.88 | 81 | 67 |
| #4 | Ramo$ | +0.29 | 80 | 71 |
| #5 | ovasco- | -0.87 | 65 | 56 |





