








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 523 | 20% |
| Smokes | 775 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 561 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 788 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $326,772 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .:<^-⌜SwedenZero⌟ ◢◤ | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Toerstig | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | LallareN | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | Seb | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | B.e.N.z.Z | 51% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B.e.N.z.Z | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | LallareN | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Jhon "Popeye" Jairo | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Svinpäls | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B.e.N.z.Z | 166 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | LallareN | 127 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Seb | 69 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Varning | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Svinpäls | 18 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seb | +2.09 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | LallareN | +1.96 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | Varning | +1.36 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | B.e.N.z.Z | +0.28 | 66 | 65 |
| #5 | .:<^-⌜SwedenZero⌟ ◢◤ | +0.08 | 86 | 75 |





