








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4249 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4931 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3127 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3566 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,725,990 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -R1cochet- | 57% | 60 |
| #2 | Tamater | 50% | 68 |
| #3 | Cynical | 49% | 128 |
| #4 | Casper | 47% | 62 |
| #5 | Prophet | 42% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -R1cochet- | 57% | 60 |
| #2 | Tamater | 50% | 68 |
| #3 | Cynical | 49% | 128 |
| #4 | Casper | 47% | 62 |
| #5 | Prophet | 42% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cynical | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Prophet | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Tamater | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | -R1cochet- | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophet | 350 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Cynical | 346 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Tamater | 290 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | -R1cochet- | 107 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Casper | 39 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophet | +1.27 | 48 | 51 |
| #2 | Cynical | +0.87 | 48 | 61 |
| #3 | Tamater | +0.56 | 49 | 63 |
| #4 | modi ji | +0.12 | 47 | 58 |
| #5 | -R1cochet- | -0.50 | 44 | 59 |





