








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1675 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3289 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2366 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2079 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,139,113 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thick4sKn | 50% | 136 |
| #2 | Snow Day Bard | 46% | 61 |
| #3 | Minecraft.exe | 45% | 211 |
| #4 | opossum_hunter | 45% | 221 |
| #5 | Reality Captain | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minecraft.exe | 551 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | opossum_hunter | 271 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | Snow Day Bard | 159 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ziffy | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Thick4sKn | 80 | 0.03 | 2 min |





