








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1863 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1990 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1930 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1336 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $738,636 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thick4sKn | 49% | 136 |
| #2 | Cheese | 45% | 42 |
| #3 | Snow Day Bard | 43% | 37 |
| #4 | ThickEmUp | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | Minecraft.exe | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Cheese | 45% | 42 |
| #3 | Snow Day Bard | 43% | 37 |
| #4 | ThickEmUp | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | Minecraft.exe | 42% | 24 |
| #6 | opossum_hunter | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thick4sKn | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Minecraft.exe | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ThickEmUp | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow Day Bard | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Minecraft.exe | 75 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Thick4sKn | 61 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | opossum_hunter | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ThickEmUp | 22 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thick4sKn | +1.13 | 52 | 46 |
| #2 | Minecraft.exe | -0.03 | 46 | 74 |
| #3 | Reality Captain | -0.17 | 39 | 70 |
| #4 | Snow Day Bard | -1.28 | 47 | 60 |
| #5 | ThickEmUp | -1.31 | 31 | 63 |





