








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2016 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1821 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3648 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1270 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,197,157 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mgwska | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | ȻĦȺꞦ𝙼̷ȺꞤĐɆꞦ | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Tomek Bólpociąg | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | ✪ flaasz | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | maskownik | 52% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✪ flaasz | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | maskownik | 52% | 171 |
| #6 | Best Player Pakistan | 49% | 74 |
| #7 | Zuzanna | 42% | 52 |
| #8 | rafixw0wツ | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maskownik | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | rafixw0wツ | 5 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Zuzanna | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Best Player Pakistan | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Tomek Bólpociąg | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maskownik | 881 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #2 | Best Player Pakistan | 256 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Zuzanna | 185 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | rafixw0wツ | 154 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | ȻĦȺꞦ𝙼̷ȺꞤĐɆꞦ | 103 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ȻĦȺꞦ𝙼̷ȺꞤĐɆꞦ | +2.88 | 56 | 70 |
| #2 | Mgwska | +1.98 | 60 | 76 |
| #3 | maskownik | +1.66 | 48 | 67 |
| #4 | rafixw0wツ | +1.23 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | Best Player Pakistan | +0.91 | 36 | 65 |





