








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3215 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3817 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3893 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1083 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $859,357 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 968 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ȻĦȺꞦ𝙼̷ȺꞤĐɆꞦ | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | Ožujsko | 52% | 171 |
| #3 | apocosi muy brga | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | Best Player Pakistan | 49% | 97 |
| #5 | Zuzanna | 49% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | apocosi muy brga | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | Best Player Pakistan | 49% | 97 |
| #5 | Zuzanna | 49% | 59 |
| #6 | Tomek Bólpociąg | 44% | 27 |
| #7 | ✪ flaasz | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ožujsko | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | apocosi muy brga | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Best Player Pakistan | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ✪ flaasz | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Zuzanna | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ožujsko | 481 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Best Player Pakistan | 323 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Zuzanna | 216 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | apocosi muy brga | 166 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tomek Bólpociąg | 100 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomek Bólpociąg | +1.85 | 41 | 65 |
| #2 | ȻĦȺꞦ𝙼̷ȺꞤĐɆꞦ | +1.80 | 52 | 56 |
| #3 | maskownik | +1.78 | 50 | 66 |
| #4 | Best Player Pakistan | +0.51 | 39 | 64 |
| #5 | ✪ flaasz | -0.51 | 64 | 59 |





