








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 557 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 601 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4862 | 21% |
| Smokes | 8026 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 5575 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5240 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,653,158 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALDo | 48% | 140 |
| #2 | TDN | 47% | 38 |
| #3 | Luwyl Chu | 47% | 392 |
| #4 | Ssamch | 47% | 336 |
| #5 | Sphinx | 45% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Luwyl Chu | 47% | 392 |
| #4 | Ssamch | 47% | 336 |
| #5 | Sphinx | 45% | 103 |
| #6 | Who'sThatComingOffThePick&Roll | 44% | 132 |
| #7 | hero | 42% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luwyl Chu | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Ssamch | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Who'sThatComingOffThePick&Roll | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | TDN | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Sphinx | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ssamch | 1738 | 0.24 | 46 min |
| #2 | Luwyl Chu | 1234 | 0.15 | 31 min |
| #3 | hero | 383 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | ALDo | 182 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Who'sThatComingOffThePick&Roll | 147 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luwyl Chu | +2.55 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | Sphinx | +2.04 | 71 | 43 |
| #3 | TDN | +1.91 | 56 | 53 |
| #4 | ALDo | +0.56 | 82 | 42 |
| #5 | Ssamch | -1.01 | 58 | 54 |





