








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 593 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 387 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4846 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3024 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3559 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2557 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,130,923 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quan | 61% | 41 |
| #2 | ALDo | 48% | 118 |
| #3 | Ssamch | 47% | 298 |
| #4 | Sphinx | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | Stone | 47% | 392 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sphinx | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | Stone | 47% | 392 |
| #6 | TDN | 45% | 42 |
| #7 | Who'sThatComingOffThePick&Roll | 45% | 120 |
| #8 | hero | 42% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stone | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Ssamch | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | TDN | 6 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Who'sThatComingOffThePick&Roll | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | hero | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ssamch | 1575 | 0.25 | 41 min |
| #2 | Stone | 865 | 0.10 | 29 min |
| #3 | hero | 387 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | ALDo | 149 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | quan | 145 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luwyl Chu | +2.45 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | Sphinx | +2.26 | 73 | 45 |
| #3 | quan | +2.18 | 86 | 51 |
| #4 | TDN | +1.82 | 55 | 53 |
| #5 | ALDo | +0.06 | 82 | 43 |





