








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 309 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3373 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3042 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3525 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2648 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,398,842 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primer | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Mr. Loop | 56% | 168 |
| #3 | Kleenex | 52% | 176 |
| #4 | kORNMAALER | 52% | 255 |
| #5 | CeoZ | 52% | 279 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mr. Loop | 56% | 168 |
| #3 | Kleenex | 52% | 176 |
| #4 | kORNMAALER | 52% | 255 |
| #5 | CeoZ | 52% | 279 |
| #6 | Frede Farlig | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kleenex | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | CeoZ | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | kORNMAALER | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Primer | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CeoZ | 889 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | kORNMAALER | 663 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #3 | Mr. Loop | 413 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | Kleenex | 207 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Frede Farlig | 95 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CeoZ | +3.24 | 93 | 69 |
| #2 | kORNMAALER | +1.35 | 64 | 75 |
| #3 | Frede Farlig | +0.55 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | Mr. Loop | +0.25 | 69 | 63 |
| #5 | Primer | -0.80 | 73 | 55 |





