








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 232 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1939 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2512 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1583 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1926 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $781,965 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primer | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | BOT Magisk <3 | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | CeoZ | 58% | 217 |
| #4 | dmk | 56% | 168 |
| #5 | kORNMAALER | 56% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dmk | 56% | 168 |
| #5 | kORNMAALER | 56% | 161 |
| #6 | Kleenex | 54% | 142 |
| #7 | J1nxsaw♛ | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | Frede Farlig | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CeoZ | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | dmk | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Kleenex | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Primer | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CeoZ | 685 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | kORNMAALER | 442 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | dmk | 435 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #4 | Kleenex | 177 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Frede Farlig | 48 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CeoZ | +3.66 | 92 | 72 |
| #2 | kORNMAALER | +1.51 | 64 | 76 |
| #3 | Frede Farlig | +1.37 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | Mr. Loop | +0.18 | 70 | 63 |
| #5 | Primer | -1.55 | 65 | 62 |





