








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Wingman | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2265 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1253 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1811 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1379 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $556,442 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gudlaj | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | ✪☭☭Frychuj☭☭✪ | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | ✪MakDick✪ | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | lipa | 53% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gudlaj | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | ✪☭☭Frychuj☭☭✪ | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | ✪MakDick✪ | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | lipa | 53% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lipa | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | ✪☭☭Frychuj☭☭✪ | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | ✪MakDick✪ | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Gudlaj | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gudlaj | 127 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #2 | ✪MakDick✪ | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪☭☭Frychuj☭☭✪ | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | lipa | 34 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪☭☭Frychuj☭☭✪ | +4.77 | 72 | 57 |
| #2 | lipa | +2.51 | 76 | 50 |
| #3 | Gudlaj | +1.21 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | ✪MakDick✪ | -0.49 | 45 | 60 |
| #5 | Andrew13 | -0.95 | 42 | 58 |





