








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2119 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2582 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2692 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2070 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,635,664 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung slug | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | sauce | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | Shubenator | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | Lou Sputthole | 57% | 114 |
| #5 | AAABAAAJSS | 56% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lou Sputthole | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Genius Penius | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ✪Slow Loris™ p0g | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | BooskiBro | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Jaylen Brown | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Genius Penius | 396 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #2 | essentially ape | 307 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | Lou Sputthole | 275 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | BooskiBro | 275 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | ✪Slow Loris™ p0g | 201 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | essentially ape | +3.71 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | BooskiBro | +2.71 | 62 | 80 |
| #3 | sauce | +2.68 | 68 | 55 |
| #4 | BOB | +2.07 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | Lag | +1.73 | 63 | 59 |





