








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1451 | 38% |
| Smokes | 844 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 589 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 941 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,982 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hzdai | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | crash | 74% | 19 |
| #3 | shugg | 71% | 21 |
| #4 | Ordinatis | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | p1en | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crash | 5 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Ordinatis | 4 | 0.0195 |
| #3 | FULLFIRE | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | shugg | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | 『(넙카스트) 케빈』 | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crash | 64 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | shugg | 59 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | FULLFIRE | 56 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | p1en | 49 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #5 | 『(넙카스트) 케빈』 | 44 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hzdai | +4.59 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | shugg | +4.38 | 89 | 60 |
| #3 | p1en | +2.22 | 85 | 67 |
| #4 | doom | +2.01 | 78 | 61 |
| #5 | A; | +1.35 | 85 | 55 |





