








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4680 | 41% |
| Smokes | 3353 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 899 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 2559 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,010,387 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayⓩ | 59% | 142 |
| #2 | 23k | 57% | 191 |
| #3 | Nkae | 56% | 199 |
| #4 | Atxmik | 55% | 184 |
| #5 | Nova | 51% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nkae | 56% | 199 |
| #4 | Atxmik | 55% | 184 |
| #5 | Nova | 51% | 78 |
| #6 | Bamb | 49% | 67 |
| #7 | The Beef | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 23k | 23 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Nkae | 17 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Jayⓩ | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Bamb | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Atxmik | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nkae | 1037 | 0.26 | 28 min |
| #2 | 23k | 806 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #3 | Jayⓩ | 450 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Atxmik | 434 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | Nova | 345 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nkae | +3.63 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | 23k | +1.48 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | T | +1.45 | 51 | 61 |
| #4 | Jayⓩ | -0.21 | 75 | 61 |
| #5 | Atxmik | -0.84 | 63 | 52 |





