








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3162 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2089 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1534 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1035 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1448 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,055,169 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jayⓩ | 61% | 64 |
| #2 | Rage hacker | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | sqortle | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | The Beef | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | Nkae | 51% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nkae | 51% | 121 |
| #6 | 23k | 50% | 50 |
| #7 | T | 49% | 67 |
| #8 | Nova | 47% | 57 |
| #9 | Atxmik | 46% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nkae | 12 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | 23k | 10 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | T | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Jayⓩ | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Rage hacker | 5 | 0.0126 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nkae | 614 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #2 | T | 332 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #3 | Atxmik | 262 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Nova | 218 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jayⓩ | 209 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rage hacker | +4.12 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | Nkae | +3.78 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | 23k | +3.20 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | T | +1.65 | 53 | 57 |
| #5 | Jayⓩ | +1.39 | 76 | 60 |





