








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,160 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4003 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3321 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2491 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3345 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $269,985 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | Apothecarious | 45% | 77 |
| #18 | Toaster | 45% | 119 |
| #19 | izzy♡ | 44% | 32 |
| #20 | Full Stop. jkatsuki | 38% | 21 |
| #21 | IFYA Asterisk | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toaster | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Jamie | 8 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | _Y3rB1s_ | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Lazermonkey | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Apothecarious | 6 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apothecarious | 277 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Toaster | 193 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | _Y3rB1s_ | 189 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #4 | typ1K4L | 172 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | JawaZo | 135 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Respect | +5.22 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | _Y3rB1s_ | +3.40 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | MohNoh | +2.91 | 75 | 70 |
| #4 | IFYA Asterisk | +2.84 | 79 | 43 |
| #5 | Tovr | +1.53 | 57 | 71 |





