








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 346 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 368 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 71 | 19% |
| Smokes | 42 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 154 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 101 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $82,216 of utility $7 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | slimgat | 44% | 98 |
| #7 | itachi | 36% | 42 |
| #8 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 31% | 74 |
| #9 | [trol] Aka.Ockie | 30% | 30 |
| #10 | 𝖃𝖊𝖓𝖔 | 23% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reis | 16 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | slimgat | 12 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | 𝖃𝖊𝖓𝖔 | 9 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Avo1d1ng | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | itachi | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Bitch Please ♥ | 317 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | [trol] Aka.Ockie | 77 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | itachi | 76 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | slimgat | 70 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Avo1d1ng | 67 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reis | +6.39 | 70 | 47 |
| #2 | Avo1d1ng | +5.16 | 75 | 43 |
| #3 | slimgat | +1.09 | 25 | 32 |
| #4 | itachi | +0.71 | 48 | 32 |
| #5 | [trol] Aka.Ockie | +0.11 | 33 | 60 |





