








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3185 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1106 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1507 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1130 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1586 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,928 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 578 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CryingFox | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | KMaster | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Poods | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | piwi | 60% | 55 |
| #5 | zapp | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Twinkle | 44% | 77 |
| #10 | ♥ 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐩 ♥ | 44% | 59 |
| #11 | SwixY | 43% | 23 |
| #12 | Chinko Daisuki | 42% | 24 |
| #13 | npobu | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | piwi | 19 | 0.0288 |
| #2 | CryingFox | 9 | 0.1200 |
| #3 | zapp | 7 | 0.0357 |
| #4 | Kai | 6 | 0.0141 |
| #5 | npobu | 5 | 0.0171 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | piwi | 105 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Poods | 102 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #3 | 𝕂𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕫 | 100 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | SwixY | 73 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | itachi | 66 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | npobu | +3.09 | 54 | 56 |
| #2 | KMaster | +2.85 | 81 | 49 |
| #3 | Kai | +2.83 | 84 | 54 |
| #4 | CryingFox | +2.51 | 92 | 62 |
| #5 | 𝕂𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕫 | +2.11 | 79 | 74 |





