








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 880 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3779 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3622 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3344 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2574 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,341,863 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarKreM | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Gusiix | 53% | 156 |
| #3 | WiPE cr1t t-ʇ | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | Acalyxs | 50% | 161 |
| #5 | Vince026 | 49% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Vince026 | 49% | 78 |
| #6 | Not Enough | 48% | 95 |
| #7 | PepitaGrilla | 47% | 62 |
| #8 | Rekkles | 45% | 29 |
| #9 | YoSoyGroot! | 44% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoSoyGroot! | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Gusiix | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Not Enough | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Acalyxs | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Vince026 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gusiix | 598 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | YoSoyGroot! | 414 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | PepitaGrilla | 255 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Acalyxs | 214 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Not Enough | 136 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarKreM | +6.85 | 79 | 52 |
| #2 | Gusiix | +3.68 | 82 | 78 |
| #3 | MIDrow | +2.43 | 70 | 57 |
| #4 | Not Enough | -0.27 | 67 | 55 |
| #5 | Acalyxs | -0.82 | 60 | 41 |





