








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,523 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1282 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1700 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1965 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1576 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,001 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sense | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | everest | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Hekki | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | slateR♛ | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | DickweedMcGee | 59% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Flopster | 55% | 38 |
| #9 | Lense | 50% | 18 |
| #10 | evılmojo | 47% | 17 |
| #11 | Bast! | 46% | 56 |
| #12 | EDDDY | 45% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DickweedMcGee | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | slateR♛ | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EDDDY | 191 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | DickweedMcGee | 170 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Bast! | 156 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | ilz | 104 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lense | 77 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flopster | +2.18 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | Sense | +1.92 | 88 | 67 |
| #3 | everest | +1.65 | 73 | 73 |
| #4 | Bast! | +1.06 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | EDDDY | +0.52 | 71 | 67 |





