








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 465 | 21% |
| Smokes | 598 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 709 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 491 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $269,226 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Räven | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | P4nc4ke | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Bast! | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | sysT // ewba | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | everest | 59% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | slateRâ™› | 53% | 19 |
| #9 | BanTex | 47% | 15 |
| #10 | â™ souzz. | 40% | 5 |
| #11 | mini (ᵔᴥᵔ) | 38% | 8 |
| #12 | ilz | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DickweedMcGee | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Flopster | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | sysT // ewba | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DickweedMcGee | 237 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | everest | 115 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Flopster | 102 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bast! | 78 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | ilz | 63 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Räven | +2.06 | 82 | 54 |
| #2 | Flopster | +1.46 | 84 | 56 |
| #3 | everest | +1.44 | 76 | 77 |
| #4 | mini (ᵔᴥᵔ) | +0.71 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | Sense | +0.70 | 82 | 60 |





