








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1824 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1882 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2001 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1147 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,665 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sysT // ewba | 45% | 69 |
| #2 | DickweedMcGee | 40% | 10 |
| #3 | ilz | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | Bast! | 28% | 32 |
| #5 | TTV kr1s | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sysT // ewba | 45% | 69 |
| #2 | DickweedMcGee | 40% | 10 |
| #3 | ilz | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | Bast! | 28% | 32 |
| #5 | TTV kr1s | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sysT // ewba | 134 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | ilz | 94 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bast! | 89 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | DickweedMcGee | 26 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | TTV kr1s | 22 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EDDDY | +1.08 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | Bast! | +0.37 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | sysT // ewba | -0.43 | 65 | 66 |
| #4 | TTV kr1s | -1.01 | 76 | 41 |
| #5 | ilz | -1.87 | 66 | 72 |





