








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2401 | 13% |
| Smokes | 4860 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5106 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6294 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,721,715 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 812 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Du Heislrotz | 49% | 55 |
| #2 | Canyas | 48% | 63 |
| #3 | 卄乇ㄒ乙丨 | 45% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Du Heislrotz | 49% | 55 |
| #2 | Canyas | 48% | 63 |
| #3 | 卄乇ㄒ乙丨 | 45% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 卄乇ㄒ乙丨 | 13 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Du Heislrotz | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Canyas | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 卄乇ㄒ乙丨 | 238 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Canyas | 71 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Du Heislrotz | 59 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | o'O Lukkii .-. | +1.17 | 85 | 44 |
| #2 | 卄乇ㄒ乙丨 | +0.46 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | Du Heislrotz | -1.03 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | Canyas | -2.26 | 51 | 55 |





