








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 547 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Esplay | 35 matches | 1,797 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4601 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5016 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4511 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5510 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,383,914 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaLmYoTiTs :-) | 59% | 64 |
| #2 | K0nics | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | Evn^S | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Tarasenko | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | KongKasino | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KongKasino | 51% | 45 |
| #6 | Java | 50% | 227 |
| #7 | Lober #LOBERCLUTCH | 47% | 38 |
| #8 | OaklλnD | 43% | 104 |
| #9 | Åse | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Java | 23 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | CaLmYoTiTs :-) | 19 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | K0nics | 10 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Lober #LOBERCLUTCH | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | OaklλnD | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Java | 704 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | CaLmYoTiTs :-) | 489 | 0.41 | 7 min |
| #3 | OaklλnD | 236 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tarasenko | 154 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lober #LOBERCLUTCH | 150 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaLmYoTiTs :-) | +7.65 | 98 | 62 |
| #2 | Java | +2.52 | 91 | 57 |
| #3 | K0nics | +1.09 | 70 | 49 |
| #4 | Evn^S | +0.96 | 87 | 42 |
| #5 | Tarasenko | +0.40 | 74 | 78 |





