








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Esplay | 146 matches | 1,909 | |
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Renown | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7340 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4880 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4910 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4582 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5219 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,433,586 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 576 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jatakk | 59% | 66 |
| #2 | OaklλnD | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | OliChappa ❤ | 56% | 62 |
| #4 | Pro.nekkern88 | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | KongKasino | 47% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jatakk | 59% | 66 |
| #2 | OaklλnD | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | OliChappa ❤ | 56% | 62 |
| #4 | Pro.nekkern88 | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | KongKasino | 47% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OaklλnD | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | KongKasino | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | OliChappa ❤ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | jatakk | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jatakk | 298 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | OliChappa ❤ | 150 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | OaklλnD | 140 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | KongKasino | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pro.nekkern88 | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K0nics | +1.51 | 71 | 51 |
| #2 | OliChappa ❤ | +0.69 | 85 | 56 |
| #3 | OaklλnD | +0.02 | 73 | 55 |
| #4 | jatakk | -1.25 | 37 | 56 |
| #5 | Pro.nekkern88 | -1.64 | 29 | 55 |





