








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 179 | 29% |
| Smokes | 171 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 99 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 174 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,986 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0neo | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Strait Rhenu | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | Sepehr | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | ChunkBunk | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | Bean | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0neo | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Strait Rhenu | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | Sepehr | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | ChunkBunk | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | Bean | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sepehr | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | ChunkBunk | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strait Rhenu | 95 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | Sepehr | 93 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #3 | ChunkBunk | 67 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bean | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | t0neo | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strait Rhenu | +1.85 | 66 | 65 |
| #2 | t0neo | +1.36 | 50 | 42 |
| #3 | Sepehr | -0.38 | 59 | 67 |
| #4 | Bean | -0.63 | 61 | 51 |
| #5 | InternetSpider | -1.49 | 63 | 69 |





