








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3846 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4385 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2365 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3099 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $376,994 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DDoS | 54% | 170 |
| #2 | ✪ Veritas | 52% | 73 |
| #3 | ICEMAN | 52% | 73 |
| #4 | Das Punkt | 48% | 87 |
| #5 | ska-iwnl♛ | 47% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ICEMAN | 52% | 73 |
| #4 | Das Punkt | 48% | 87 |
| #5 | ska-iwnl♛ | 47% | 171 |
| #6 | legathy | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | Laiser | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ska-iwnl♛ | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Das Punkt | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | DDoS | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ska-iwnl♛ | 306 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | DDoS | 251 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | ✪ Veritas | 201 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | ICEMAN | 121 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Laiser | 74 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ska-iwnl♛ | +2.43 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | ✪ Veritas | +2.22 | 69 | 72 |
| #3 | ICEMAN | +0.85 | 84 | 71 |
| #4 | legathy | -0.87 | 66 | 60 |
| #5 | jNi^ | -1.05 | 56 | 56 |





