








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 659 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1069 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1383 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1195 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,296,590 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nob0dy | 50% | 44 |
| #2 | Kaede | 47% | 174 |
| #3 | Lacie_OAO | 45% | 324 |
| #4 | 484NT豈可修 | 43% | 96 |
| #5 | Kenny | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lacie_OAO | 45% | 324 |
| #4 | 484NT豈可修 | 43% | 96 |
| #5 | Kenny | 42% | 36 |
| #6 | LEo | 38% | 21 |
| #7 | marijiuana | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lacie_OAO | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | 484NT豈可修 | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | marijiuana | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | LEo | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Kaede | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lacie_OAO | 876 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | Kaede | 433 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Nob0dy | 215 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kenny | 190 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | 484NT豈可修 | 124 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ejectre | +2.04 | 42 | 30 |
| #2 | LEo | +1.25 | 48 | 65 |
| #3 | Kenny | -0.37 | 73 | 63 |
| #4 | Kaede | -0.45 | 49 | 47 |
| #5 | marijiuana | -0.60 | 37 | 18 |





