








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 123 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2326 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2365 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1160 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 747 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $955,336 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaede | 49% | 192 |
| #2 | Ejectre | 45% | 324 |
| #3 | marijiuana | 39% | 38 |
| #4 | 484NT豈可修 | 38% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaede | 49% | 192 |
| #2 | Ejectre | 45% | 324 |
| #3 | marijiuana | 39% | 38 |
| #4 | 484NT豈可修 | 38% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ejectre | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Kaede | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | 484NT豈可修 | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | marijiuana | 4 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaede | 462 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | 484NT豈可修 | 119 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ejectre | 86 | 0.01 | 2 min |
| #4 | marijiuana | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ejectre | +2.37 | 43 | 30 |
| #2 | Kaede | -0.36 | 50 | 48 |
| #3 | marijiuana | -0.59 | 37 | 19 |
| #4 | Lacie_OAO | -1.80 | 37 | 41 |
| #5 | 484NT豈可修 | -3.96 | 39 | 38 |





