








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,221 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 511 | 23% |
| Smokes | 635 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 526 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 549 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,553 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ugosplodes | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Ochsner | 100% | 7 |
| #3 | Donnie (The Problem) | 100% | 9 |
| #4 | Koslap | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | Ishtar | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Nuran | 47% | 15 |
| #16 | BudFly | 45% | 29 |
| #17 | i will go to bed before 12 | 38% | 13 |
| #18 | RavioliInMyHoley | 33% | 6 |
| #19 | Jedi Ken | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuran | 5 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | Skrout | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Logykz | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | i will go to bed before 12 | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Justirack | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BudFly | 158 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | Skrout | 138 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | ciisco | 48 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Logykz | 45 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Donnie (The Problem) | 36 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BudFly | +4.77 | 91 | 78 |
| #2 | Donnie (The Problem) | +3.75 | 79 | 76 |
| #3 | Koslap | +3.21 | 87 | 45 |
| #4 | ciisco | +2.73 | 91 | 80 |
| #5 | Justirack | +2.66 | 80 | 60 |





