








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




107 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2814 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4476 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2614 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4832 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3669 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $323,575 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 283 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Airhes_K | 28 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Tyranid | 28 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Gabriel Le Mec Encore Plus Cool | 19 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | FaToM | 10 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Genschi | 5 | 0.0016 |





