








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3009 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1938 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2088 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1596 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $676,109 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 419 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✠ ERZ ✠ | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | dabi | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | LKWFahrer_300KMH | 53% | 17 |
| #4 | Kubarocker | 48% | 31 |
| #5 | Kevin Kurányi | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin Kurányi | 5 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | dabi | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Berokza | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Kubarocker | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Johnny ͜ʖ ͡°) | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berokza | 229 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #2 | dabi | 122 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kubarocker | 107 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kevin Kurányi | 99 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | 死Lugh | 91 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dabi | +3.67 | 84 | 81 |
| #2 | LKWFahrer_300KMH | +2.79 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | S1lenc | +2.45 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | Kevin Kurányi | +1.73 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | ✠ ERZ ✠ | +0.65 | 88 | 53 |





