








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1690 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1283 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1071 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1360 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $295,394 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | LKWFahrer_300KMH | 43% | 14 |
| #7 | Johnny ͜ʖ ͡°) | 40% | 20 |
| #8 | S1lenc | 40% | 40 |
| #9 | Kevin Kurányi | 31% | 13 |
| #10 | b1rd | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S1lenc | 143 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | b1rd | 128 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| #3 | Johnny ͜ʖ ͡°) | 91 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | auxmax | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kevin Kurányi | 47 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LKWFahrer_300KMH | +3.60 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | dabi | +3.56 | 81 | 79 |
| #3 | auxmax | +1.89 | 66 | 41 |
| #4 | S1lenc | +1.65 | 73 | 64 |
| #5 | Berokza | +0.78 | 73 | 72 |





