








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 89 | 3% |
| Smokes | 1073 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 620 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 864 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $609,693 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gymcl4ssHer0w | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | coRnhoLio L.A. | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | Pey’j L.A. | 45% | 158 |
| #4 | donsimon | 42% | 93 |
| #5 | eeph | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | eeph | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | Goaty | 41% | 92 |
| #7 | F1nky L.A. | 41% | 37 |
| #8 | Weiss | 34% | 47 |
| #9 | SonGoten | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donsimon | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Goaty | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Pey’j L.A. | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Weiss | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | coRnhoLio L.A. | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coRnhoLio L.A. | 118 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | Gymcl4ssHer0w | 106 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pey’j L.A. | 74 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Weiss | 67 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | donsimon | 56 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eeph | +4.27 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | coRnhoLio L.A. | +2.25 | 43 | 61 |
| #3 | Gymcl4ssHer0w | +1.25 | 39 | 64 |
| #4 | donsimon | +1.13 | 36 | 28 |
| #5 | SonGoten | +0.66 | 53 | 9 |





