








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1011 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 752 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8195 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8240 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9981 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8059 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,644,770 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 869 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dafi | 28 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | entity | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | timigod | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | s a M O s a | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Dev!l | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dafi | 1284 | 0.13 | 41 min |
| #2 | entity | 778 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #3 | timigod | 658 | 0.30 | 19 min |
| #4 | s a M O s a | 330 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | Dev!l | 119 | 0.09 | 3 min |





