








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1055 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 627 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5840 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6597 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5384 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4744 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,644,951 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vision | 35 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | entity | 26 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | вαηαηιღ | 16 | 0.0135 |
| #4 | s a M O s a | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | timigod | 8 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vision | 1383 | 0.14 | 38 min |
| #2 | entity | 761 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #3 | timigod | 506 | 0.31 | 16 min |
| #4 | s a M O s a | 386 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #5 | Dev!l | 210 | 0.10 | 5 min |





