








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 137 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1439 | 54% |
| Smokes | 602 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 338 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 301 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $77,661 of utility $13 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hevay ass | 20 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | I drive. | 13 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | kawa | 6 | 0.0137 |
| #4 | Rawboot | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I drive. | 225 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Rawboot | 178 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | hevay ass | 87 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | RedMoon | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | kawa | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |





