








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 656 | 24% |
| Smokes | 952 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 439 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 650 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,770 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 518 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rohfftop | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Rexpac | 60% | 48 |
| #3 | Karma 业力 | 59% | 71 |
| #4 | Tilow | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | πyke | 58% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tilow | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | πyke | 58% | 45 |
| #6 | mal3rr | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | shenzen | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | braskoooooooo | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karma 业力 | 254 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | πyke | 95 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rexpac | 93 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | braskoooooooo | 76 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tilow | 76 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karma 业力 | +1.51 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | Tilow | +1.41 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | JacquesM2 | +0.65 | 84 | 44 |
| #4 | Rexpac | +0.12 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | shenzen | -0.10 | 49 | 74 |





