








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 596 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 379 matches | ||
| Esplay | 31 matches | 2,126 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,244 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5400 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3758 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5124 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3962 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,467,103 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 778 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | om | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | jkm | 58% | 186 |
| #3 | OnlyBlade | 56% | 54 |
| #4 | asdasd | 53% | 490 |
| #5 | Gentlesir | 53% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | OnlyBlade | 56% | 54 |
| #4 | asdasd | 53% | 490 |
| #5 | Gentlesir | 53% | 250 |
| #6 | Newport Abuser | 51% | 313 |
| #7 | SPiRO | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gentlesir | 45 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | asdasd | 39 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | jkm | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Newport Abuser | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | om | 5 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asdasd | 1803 | 0.19 | 51 min |
| #2 | jkm | 1018 | 0.30 | 32 min |
| #3 | Newport Abuser | 905 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #4 | Gentlesir | 723 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #5 | OnlyBlade | 299 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asdasd | +1.98 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | Blinking Shoes | +1.07 | 79 | 66 |
| #3 | jkm | +0.44 | 82 | 78 |
| #4 | SPiRO | -0.43 | 69 | 71 |
| #5 | om | -0.95 | 75 | 61 |





