








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1055 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 492 matches | ||
| Esplay | 36 matches | 1,923 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6846 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3718 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 6756 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5480 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,332,455 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1032 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torta | 69% | 55 |
| #2 | jkm | 62% | 141 |
| #3 | Gentlesir | 58% | 213 |
| #4 | SPiRO | 57% | 65 |
| #5 | OnlyBlade | 54% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asdasd | 55 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Blinking Shoes | 36 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Gentlesir | 33 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Torta | 17 | 0.0171 |
| #5 | OnlyBlade | 7 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asdasd | 2210 | 0.20 | 65 min |
| #2 | Blinking Shoes | 950 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #3 | jkm | 852 | 0.34 | 26 min |
| #4 | OnlyBlade | 664 | 0.34 | 21 min |
| #5 | Gentlesir | 640 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torta | +3.08 | 73 | 64 |
| #2 | asdasd | +2.13 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | jkm | +0.99 | 83 | 78 |
| #4 | Blinking Shoes | +0.92 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | SPiRO | +0.29 | 70 | 71 |





