








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1553 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,970 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2688 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1410 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2212 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1660 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,152,716 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BOT_Roosa | 48% | 44 |
| #9 | 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒶 | 41% | 17 |
| #10 | #habe# | 39% | 28 |
| #11 | Mr.mimmu | 34% | 35 |
| #12 | Tibu | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaps21 | 32 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | tädi maali | 16 | 0.0230 |
| #3 | MADNESS☠ | 12 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | Mr.mimmu | 10 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | Tibu | 9 | 0.0237 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaps21 | 275 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | MADNESS☠ | 144 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | BOT_Roosa | 66 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Tibu | 48 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mr.mimmu | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |





